You can be confident! All you have to do is rid yourself of confidence killers. Confidence killers are self-defeating thought patterns. Many of us walk through life with these harmful assumptions.
See if you've got any of these evildoers in your thoughts:
1. The All or Nothing Sniper:
This way of thinking is the reason you can't seem to enjoy even the small wins you've been getting in life. I'll bet you were the kid in school who went home crying when you got one wrong on a test!
You think you are a complete failure when your performance (whatever it is) is not perfect. You'd be confident if you didn't spend so much energy being so hard on yourself!
2. The Dark Cloud of Destruction:
Look out! There is a disaster hiding behind every corner. Expect it. The Dark Cloud of Destruction makes you think silly things like: 'I failed my chemistry test; there is no point in even thinking about college, now.'
3. Warlord of Negative Magnification:
If you listen to this confidence killer you'll never be confident. He's got a warped idea that if it's good- it doesn't count. He'll take any little negative anthill and magnify it like it's a mountain.
If you won 8 singing contests but had a cold for the 9th and came in second, he'll harp on that ninth and you'll never look at the 8 trophies as the great achievements they are.
4. The 'If I feel it, it must be so' Monster:
This is like a computer worm that shuts down all the clear thinking parts of your brain! A person with this can never be confident until they learn that how they are feeling doesn't necessarily match up with the truth. We all have days when we don't look our best or perform at our best.
The 'I feel stupid so I must be stupid' syndrome allows us to let our emotions run our lives. Don't blindly accept emotions as truth. Be confident enough to think that tomorrow you probably will be feeling different.
5. The Sinister Should:
Perfectionists are good at should statements. Should statements be more about what your think other people expect from you than what you want?
Should statements can be something like: Everybody should have an education plan. The person then thinks ' Oh, no! I don't have an education plan! There must be something wrong with me.'
6. Libellous Labeller:
Let's throw this one in jail and throw away the key. You know the thought. It's the one that we use to blame things on something. 'I am a loser. It must all be my fault.' If you are going to think labels, label yourself a confident person.
7. Compliment Constrictor:
This creepy crawler just can't seem to let you accept a compliment. For once, if someone tells you that you look good in that dress, don't let the slimy one takeover and say: 'Really? I think it makes me look fat!
The good news is that recognizing any of these villains is half of the battle. So put on your white hat- train yourself to cancel these confidence-killing thoughts.